worth reading, I think.

Sunday I returned from a most enjoyable visit to Minnesota. I had gone up for the week to help my sister and brother-in-law ready their house to be sold. The previous week, my sister casually asked if we would be willing to house their husky, but loveable cat, Boris (aka The Russian Spy Cat), while they transitioned. Mike and I agreed, and from that ill-fated decision, the following events occurred:

Saturday

7 p.m. – Over dinner on the eve of my departure, my sister informs me that Boris often has bouts of kitty IBS in the car. A fact she negated to mention when asking me to be a foster parent. Tears of laughter ensued as she recounted past disaster tales. I temporarily considered leaving him in Mankato thus ensuring a poo-free ride home. Let this be a lesson to you – always go with your first instinct.

11:58 p.m. – I go to sleep, praying for dear life that God will not allow Boris to diarrhea in my car.

Sunday

8:30 a.m. – I inform my sister that I will, indeed, be taking Boris with me. We devise a master plan to place newspaper on the bottom of his cat-kennel in case of the dreaded poo explosion.

9:02 a.m. – I have my car jammed full of Black Friday purchases and Boris in tow and I depart Mankato.

9:45 a.m. – I marvel at how calm and content Boris is in the car and remind myself that Courtney has a tendency to be overly dramatic. I turn the radio up for that sweet sound and ease on down the road.

10:02 a.m. – I enter the freeway at Owatanna and notice some strange noises are coming from Boris. I look to find my prayers have been answered, there is no poo party – instead, Boris has had a vomit explosion that smelled to high heaven. I roll my windows down and enjoy the brisk 38 degree Minnesota air while frantically looking for a suitable gas station, wherein I will be able to clean up Boris’ cage AND get a delicious cup of coffee.

10:27 a.m. – Said gas station presents itself in Kasson, MN. I pull off, only to wait in line for a spot at a pump. Apparently the Kwik Trip in Kasson is a mecca on a Sunday morn. I take Boris out of the car, still in his cage and carefully open the door to the cage. He has sat in the puke a little bit, and I carefully place him on the floor of my front seat so as not to get vomit on my white fleece. I go to shut the door when…

10:28 a.m. – Boris SPRINTS from the floor of the car and streaks across the gas station. He is no spry kitten and to see his 20 + pounds moving like a gazelle in the Serengeti is a site to behold. However, instead of enjoying the majesty, my flight reflex kicks in and I run, screaming and flailing my arms across the gas station after Boris, leaving my car door wide open with no regard for my purse and many Black Friday purchases.

10:29 a.m. – Boris rounds the corner of the gas station out of site. I run after him screaming, “Boris, BORIS!” Many gas station patrons inquire if he is my cat and join me in the hunt. I round the corner to find a number of cars, a view of a marsh and the dreaded overpass, but no Boris.

10:30-10:32 a.m. – I wildly look for Boris, screaming his name, heading into the grass, looking under cars. A feeling of dread seeps in that I have lost my sister’s cat and the tears well up in my eyes.

10:33 a.m. – I spot Boris under a car and my heart falls out of my throat, back into my chest. I get down on my hands and knees and try to coax him from underneath the car. He is meowing loudly in a tom-cat sort of way, and will not budge.

10:35 a.m. – He finally peaks his head out of the car and I quickly snatch him up. I then carry him back to car as he – Pinky the Cat style – tries to escape.

10:37 a.m. – I return to my car, where one of the helpful gas station patrons is waiting, holding Boris’ kennel for me. I regretfully inform him that I cannot put Boris back in his cage because it is filled with vomit. He drops the cage like it was made of liquid hot magma.

10:38 a.m. – I ask the fellow if he wouldn’t mind shutting the door for me quickly as I put Boris on the floor of my backseat. He wouldn’t mind – and we successfully trap Boris.

10:42 – 10:38 a.m. – I cleaned up the cage with haste and patted myself on the back for the brilliant newspaper idea. I then very carefully opened my door and held on to Boris. He clung to the floor mat and my atlas with the Jaws of Life. Boris and I are in a full on struggle, I am nearly falling over with laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation and Boris’ super-kitty strength. I finally pry him from the floor, only to reengage the pinky the cat situation while trying to wrestle him into the cage. Tears stream from my eyes and meows bellow from Boris’ lips as we fight the age old battle of good v spy kitty.

10:39 a.m. – Another helpful patron holds the kennel for me and finally, Boris is safe and puke-free. I profusely thank the lady and go in to buy the most wonderful cup of coffee in the world.

3:48 a.m. – We arrive home with no further incident. Boris greets his new brother, Sven, and gets acclimated to his new (temporary) home. I collapse on my coach and silently plot to give Sven some Colon-Blow the first time we visit the Millard’s new residence. (insert evil plan laugh here).

The End.

...

Musings on a Friday morning:

• I am dangerously low on coffee right now - good thing I have nothing to do at work and will have nothing to do for the remainder of the day.
• One of my very favorite songs is playing right now - What's been going on by Amos Lee. I have it at a decently high decibel, so I just closed the door to the cave.
• I am so SO sick of Twilight. I do not read the books, I have not seen the movies and I do not think Robert Pattinson is attractive. Is this craze over yet? This is worse than when a new Harry Potter movie comes out.
• Mike and I are having an extended test drive of the Cube today. I am hoping it convinces him that this is, indeed, the car for us and I won't have to test drive a bunch of grandma cars to appease him. He actually said the word 'Buick' to me and meant it!
• I am headed up to Minn this Sunday and will spend the week helping my sister and brother-in-law get their house ready to be sold. I'm excited to spend some time in the motherland, though Rock said she had to scrape her windshield today, and I am not so excited for that. Turns out I've acclimated to the slightly warmer temperatures IL has to offer and have subsequently turned into a pansy.
  
• We had a "Friendship Thanksgiving" hosted by Jon and Janet this week and it was fantastic! I can't wait for Jon to prepare many more turkeys, because as he put it, "turkeys are dirt cheap."
  
• If you do not already, you should be watching MadMen. It is fantastic. I have watched it out of sequential order and I still enjoy it. It is amazing (for better and for worse) how far we've come in the last 50 years. I suppose 50 years is a significant amount of time, and yet, seems not so long ago considering the way women were treated. Joan, the head secretary, said this when training one of the new secretaries, "And here is your typewriter. The men who designed it made it so easy, even a woman can use it." Sitting in my own office, typing this on my own computer, it is not lost on me the sacrifices and accomplishments of generations of women.
  

and now that all the men reading this have rolled their eyes a couple times, I will end my thoughts and bid you all a Happy Thanksgiving.

cheers!

keep the change, you filthy animal

Tonight, I had to fire my first student worker. In my tenure at AU, 37 work days, this student had 9 last minute absences including 3 no shows/no notice. Keep in mind, this student only works 3 days a week, so in my tenure here, he amassed 23 total possible work days, giving him an absence percentage of 39%.

One would wonder why I waited this long to fire him. I wonder this myself, but stating the obvious, I'm a softie and I fall for the sob story...until today. Last night after he called and left me a message for his 8th absence, I called him back (and of course he didn't answer) and left him a message asking him to come into my office today so we could talk (read: so I could fire him). The kid did not show up TO BE FIRED. So I thought, well, I'll wait until he comes into work tonight at 6 and then fire him...but HE DID NOT SHOW UP. So I was forced to fire him over the phone/view facebook message (because the e-mail address he gave me is unreliable - see, I fall for the sob story).

I was nervous about firing this kid all day, but now that it's done, I feel totally unsatisfied that I didn't get to fire him to his face.

Damn kids.

Letter I wish would be read...

Dear Dannon,

Please reconsider making your "Seasonal Delights" yogurts a limited time offering. The watermelon and cantaloupe flavors are too delicious to only be offered in the summertime. Perhaps you could consider renaming them to "Delightful in all Seasons" and thus, they could be on your permanent flavor list. Just something to think about and then implement.

Sincerely,
Chelsey "yogurt lover" Headrick

Dear Minnesota Twins,

You are and will always be my favorite baseball team. I don't mind that much that you haven't won a World Series since 91 - but man, remember how fantastic that was? Perhaps you could put it on your list to win the World Series next year. Think about it, it would be a great way to christen Target Field AND your fans would be super excited. Win - Win. Also, if you could ask Joe Mauer to call me, that would be great.

"And we'll see you tomorrow night,"
Chelsey "I heart Joe" Headrick

p.s. Did any of you cry after your last game in the Metrodome? Yeah, me neither.

Dear Mike,

Can we please get a Mini Cooper? I will never ask for anything again. The Sola is bumming me out. I'm sure Jason will buy it from us, he likes to have a collection of cars. Don't you want to make your wife happy? Think about it.

love you,
Chels

and that's the way the cookie crumbles...

Hi All,

Thank you for all your well wishes. However, it was recently brought to my attention that I have no chance of winning even if I attain the letter 'B.' Apparently, the fine print stipulates that you must keep the letters in order to be eligible to win. I, foolishly, simply entered my codes on the computer and threw my pieces away. Thus, no car for me.

10, I'm glad we both share a love of the office and I would still encourage you to eat at subway as it is delish.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Today's Post is brought to you by the letter B

Hello all. In case you haven't checked my facebook status lately, or you are not facebook friends with me, I will tell you of my quest. Subway is currently featuring "Scrabble" wherein you collect letters and try to spell things to win great prizes. I am one small letter B away from wining a 2009 Toyota Prius!!! (Full Disclosure, I'm sure they made like 2 letter B's and they have already been tossed by some guys who work construction in Idaho, but I hold out hope.) I'm thinking that the more I send out positive vibes to the Universe (read: facebook, blog, and casual conversation), the better shot I have of receiving a new car via the letter B. Maybe if I just use B words all day that will help too...In closing, if you happen to glean the letter B off your subway cup in the next couple weeks, would you pass the code my way? Thanks.

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

...for the Headricks in 2 big ways:

#1. I have a job. Yep, a real one. Not just one where I deliver wine sometimes and pour wine for drunkards. I am now in my 3rd day working for Aurora University, which some of you may remember as the college that gave me a degree. I am a "Communications Specialist" and am slowly figuring out what that means. So far, I haven't done much but meet with people I'll be working with. Tonight I meet my student workers, so hold on for what is sure to be some Freshman drama tales. In summation: "woo hoo."

#2. Mike is an Ironman! Last weekend he completed his plight and it was in a word, fantastic. His folks, my family, Rock and Jonas, Karkar and her sister Jilly all came in from the west and H, Janet, Maddie, Jamie and Jay all came up from the Chicagoland area. We had a quite a crew which worked out nicely. We were able to spread the course and give Mike lots of support. It was a little overwhelming for me at certain points what with the wrangling of the Iron Mike Fan Club and the ever present nerves I felt. I was much more nervous for Mike then he was for himself. Anytime I saw an ambulance or saw a biker eat it hard, my stomach always dropped.

He came through with flying colors, completing the 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and 26.2 mile run in 14 hours 34 min and 43 seconds. At the end, there is a big crowd on each side and the music is pumping and the MC declares, Mike Headrick, Oswego, IL YOU ARE AN IRONMAN and it is very inspiring. I may or may not have teared up a little. Mike chose not to sign up for next year's race and everyday since he has been kicking himself. So for all of you who would like to see him do this crazy race again, which I highly recommend, let me know and I'll give you the info for the 2011 race. Until then, look for us at the Lawrence and Michigan half ironman competitions.